IVF Heartbreak, Take Two

Hello, my loves. Sadly, Simon and I learned this week that our second IVF attempt failed. The call from the nurse was devastating, but somehow a teeny bit easier than our first round of disappointment. Perhaps, amidst the heartbreak, we’re growing stronger. I still have faith that we’re meant to have a baby, it’s just going to take more time. We’ll be transferring our last frozen embryo in a few weeks. Hopefully, third time’s a charm. And if not, we’ll start over at the very beginning with a new fresh cycle. I am trying to focus on all we have to be grateful for—our supportive family and friends, pug cuddles, our sunny apartment, and this blog and my sweet readers. Most of all, I’m thankful we ended up in Denmark, where fertility treatment is roughly a third of the cost it is in the U.S. (the main reason we’re able to keep trying). This weekend, we’re going to watch movies, have friends over for dinner, and just get hygge. Wishing you all a cozy weekend with the ones you love.

(above, a ridiculously cute cardigan for little girls)

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26 comments on “IVF Heartbreak, Take Two

  1. natalie

    So sorry to hear the news :( I’m usually a silent reader as I’m sure many are, but we’re definitely all here to listen and send you best wishes and happy thoughts. Good luck with the next round, meanwhile I’m checking out this hygge business.

  2. NKM

    Hang in there! I know the heartache is strong but your baby is out there! It took us almost a year and a miscarriage before we had our little girl. Hugs! <3

  3. jennifer

    Im so sorry to hear your news. I have no doubt that you will be excellent parents as soon as the time is right.

  4. DFS

    I am so sorry to hear your news; I just lost my first pregnancy and can relate to the heartache that can be associated with trying to start a family. I admire your courage and strength through a trying process — it is inspiring. Sending you and your husband warmest wishes for success.

  5. N

    I am so sorry – keep strong!! This is a marathon not a sprint.

    We will likely be doing a transfer around the same time. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts!

  6. Alison

    I applaud your openness and honesty about the process. Your writing about IVF is helping countless couples who are experiencing a similar fertility struggle feel less alone. Thank you! All my best to you and your husband and best of luck on your next transfer!

  7. CF

    Sending you so much love! I admire your amazing strength and know you will have a beautiful, healthy baby in no time xxxx

  8. Cat

    About to start fertility treatments and I know how hard it is to stay positive. Your openness about this process is so inspiring and makes me feel like we aren’t alone. We will all have the families we want – we all just have different paths to get there! Xo

  9. Lindsey

    I applaud your willingness to share such a heartbreaking and isolating process. My husband I tried to get pregnant for 2.5 years (I was 28 when we started trying) – and 7 rounds of IVF later (2 miscarriages as well), I am finally sitting here with my beautiful 13 week old baby girl August (through an IVF PGS, a real “Hail Mary” transfer), who is so special and so loved. I hope this gives you hope and strength through a dark time – so many women go through this, yet it is so infrequently talked about! I also highly recommend the book Conquering Infertility by Alice Domar – it was a real life saver for me. Stay strong!

  10. Jennie H

    I’m so sorry to hear your news. I, too, have faith that you are meant to have a baby. Sending good thoughts and strength to you and your husband.

  11. Elle

    Katie dear,
    I have been reading your blog for years and have always enjoyed your beautiful taste and content. Following these IVF posts and updates, I am so feeling for you and wishing you the best. I am sure it is a little awkward for a total stranger to be asking what you have or haven’t medically explored, but, as it is something I have personal experience with, I wanted to put it out there. Has anyone discussed Endometriosis with you? It is common, but many doctors miss it for years and aren’t properly equipped to treat it. This leads to under-diagnosis or mis-diagnosis and it can take a long time for a woman to find out she has it. For many, there are years of extreme pain and discomfort prior to diagnosis (as was the case with me). Others have no symptoms until they experience great difficulty in trying to become pregnant– it is a leading cause of fertility issues. It took me so long to get an answer, so when I was finally diagnosed with severe Endometriosis four years ago, it was a relief to finally have a name for what was wrong. There are some very good surgeons in the States that specialize in it and a handful in Europe as well.

    I am hoping for nothing but the best for you and your husband!

  12. Phyllis

    Katie ~

    I’m so sorry you are having to go through all this. Your attitude is everything and is so inspiring. I am praying for you!

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