As you may have guessed, we received disappointing IVF news this week. Our sixth attempt (sixth?!) has also failed. I feel like a broken record. I took the news in stride at first, going about my day, holding it together, only to late-afternoon collapse onto our bed in loud, ugly sobs (our new Danish neighbors must have thought someone died). Infertility is rough. We now have only one frozen embryo left and even though IVF costs are much lower in Denmark than America, we’ve spent a pretty penny at this point. Most difficult of all has been enduring the seemingly endless stream of heartbreak (my birthday miscarriage being the low point…life can be just plain cruel). I don’t feel like myself anymore, between the shots, the bruised stomach, and the hormones every eight hours for months on end. I’ve gained 20 pounds over the past year (I used to joke “five pounds for every failed round!” but in all seriousness, someone hide the pastries). It’s hard to remember the last time I physically felt well. Perhaps most frusturating of all, our doctor keeps reassuring us there’s “nothing wrong” with me and especially given that I’m only 31, IVF should work for us. There’s every indication that my being pregnant is “just around the corner.” We’ll transfer our last embryo in three weeks and honestly, I just can’t wait to be done. If by some miracle it works, brilliant, but if it doesn’t, I’ll just be thrilled to (for now at least) close the door on this trying chapter of our lives. The one thing getting me through this week? This funny, heartwarming book. I stumbled upon it on Amazon and downloaded it to Simon’s kindle. Boy, am I glad I did. It made me laugh and made me cry. It’s given me so much hope that despite all this heartache we will someday be parents. That we will adopt a beautiful child in need of home and love them to the moon and back. Thank you again (really, truly) for your kind words of support over the past year. I’m keeping the faith. xo Katie READ POST
Hello, my loves. I’m sorry things have been a bit quiet around here. After transferring our last frozen embryo in early March we were delighted to learn I was, at long last, pregnant. After three emotionally and physically exhausting rounds of IVF, Simon and I were over the moon to say the least. We excitedly called our parents and siblings and I texted all my sweet girlfriends that had been rooting for us along the way. Simon began whispering funny things to the little embryo in my belly and I filled my Amazon cart with baby books. Then, on my 31st birthday, I miscarried. Needless to say, our hearts are broken. READ POST
Hello, my loves. Sadly, Simon and I learned this week that our second IVF attempt failed. The call from the nurse was devastating, but somehow a teeny bit easier than our first round of disappointment. Perhaps, amidst the heartbreak, we’re growing stronger. I still have faith that we’re meant to have a baby, it’s just going to take more time. We’ll be transferring our last frozen embryo in a few weeks. Hopefully, third time’s a charm. And if not, we’ll start over at the very beginning with a new fresh cycle. I am trying to focus on all we have to be grateful for—our supportive family and friends, pug cuddles, our sunny apartment, and this blog and my sweet readers. Most of all, I’m thankful we ended up in Denmark, where fertility treatment is roughly a third of the cost it is in the U.S. (the main reason we’re able to keep trying). This weekend, we’re going to watch movies, have friends over for dinner, and just get hygge. Wishing you all a cozy weekend with the ones you love.
(above, a ridiculously cute cardigan for little girls)
Unsurprisingly, I still have babies on the brain. We transferred one of our two frozen embryos and are now in the midst of the two-week wait. I begged the doctor to transfer both blastocysts (twins!), but they are rarely willing to transfer more than one embryo in Denmark. The transfer itself didn’t go as smoothly as we’d hoped (the doctor had a lot of difficulty and I cried the whole way home), so I’m not very optimistic, but maybe we’ll get lucky this time. Meanwhile, I’m still flagging all the cute baby clothes and accessories I come across online. Isn’t the crochet cardigan above as cute as can be…?! Below, I’ve shared some more of my current baby favorites.
Floral Flutter-Sleeve Baby Dress (on sale)
Oxford Baby Boy Boat Shoes (on sale)
Elephant Fitted Crib Sheet (on sale)
Classic Cord Shorts (so Prince George!)
Eyelet Chambray Flutter Baby Top (on sale)
Bow Baby Ballet Flats (on sale)
Daisy Ruffle-Back Baby Leggings (on sale)
Elephant Knob (so fun for a dresser or changing table…)
Eyelet Ruffle One-Piece Baby Swimsuit (on sale)
Hi friends. Yesterday, Simon and I got news that our first IVF cycle was unsuccessful. Needless to say, we are heartbroken. We had been so optimistic throughout the two week wait and were truly devastated when we got the call. The silver lining is that we have two frozen embryos from the first cycle, so our next attempt will be a frozen embryo transfer (no injections this time around). I’m trying to keep my chin up, but as you can imagine, it’s hard. At Simon’s encouragement, I booked a quick trip to Lisbon to distract myself from the bad news (#traveltherapy). I fly out tomorrow morning and am really looking forward to a bit of sunshine. Please let me know if you have any suggestions as to what I must see/do in Lisbon. I’ve never been to Portugal, but have heard wonderful things (feel free to follow along on instagram). Thank you again for all of your encouragement throughout our fertility struggles. Your kind comments and emails have given me such hope.
Happy New Year, friends! I hope you’ve all recovered from last night’s bubbly. We spent the evening with our favorite Danish neighbors. The festivities commenced with a viewing of Queen Margrethe II’s televised speech (tradition dictates you drink every time she mumbles, drops her eyeglasses, or loses a cue card…bless her heart), followed by a beautiful three course take-out meal from Restaurant Cofoco. After a hilarious game of charades, we concluded the night marveling over the fireworks display from the balcony. Danes love to party and certainly know how to ring in the New Year with style.
2016 was a wild adventure and, while there were plenty of good times, I’m glad to see it go. The highlights in short: we moved from Chicago to Copenhagen and found our dream apartment, I celebrated my 30th birthday with my dear friend Jane in Vienna, traveled with my mom to Berlin and Paris, made a summer escape to Milan and Lake Como with Simon, and made solo trips to Stockholm, Amsterdam, Antwerp, and Marrakech. We also celebrated one year of marriage in Paris, made multiple trips to London to see family, underwent fertility treatment, and built an amazing network of international friends here in Denmark.
In 2017, I hope to slow down a bit. Perhaps I’ll be pregnant and spend time nesting. I haven’t set strict resolutions, my hope is to simply be mindful, be patient, and be grateful. I hope to hold more dinner parties, blog more often (let me know what kind of posts you’d like to see!), read more books, and perhaps explore another country or two. If I am so lucky to become a mother, that would be the greatest gift of all.
What were the highlights of your 2016? Any resolutions you care to share? Wishing you all a happy, healthy 2017 full of friendship, love, and inspiration. Cheers to new beginnings!